PREQUEL /SEQUEL

People have started greeting me on Facebook regardless that my birthday is still two days away. I guess the “beauty” of Facebook is having a lot more people greet you on your birthday, even people you don’t really know, only because you are neighbors in Farmville or in Café World. As it has been the case for the longest time, it will just be another day and I’ve always preferred it that way, though there is just a teeney weeney change in the routine as I will be going to Subic with mrRT. I couldn’t say no to his invite, he is making himself available the whole day for me on my Birthday and no one’s done that to me in a while. It feels nice and I appreciate it. Quiet na lang muna.

The summer heat is slowly being replaced by my favorite weather….gray skies with the hint of rain. Summer is over, school starts and we are halfway through the year..and I shall be 42 years old.

I’ve changed the routine with Anton and have started to go out on impromptu drives in and around the village during the weekends. I find that it relaxes both of us as I begin a running commentary of what we see on the road. Anton’s a chatter box and he likes to sing and dance. Children this age are so malleable, you can mold them into just about anything.

I watched my friend Jean walk down the aisle last Saturday and I got teary-eyed. I’m envious of people who have met the right ONE. I wonder if I will still be that lucky.

Afternoon with A

I spent Saturday going around Glorietta looking for new office shoes, and I had my bestfriend A accompany me. It was great being able to pull her away from her BF coz we rarely get to spend time together since he came (read: he came into her life sometime 2000). Turns out that Sweety Pie is busy doing some Events thing and couldn't hang out with her, so lucky me. :-)

In between trying out shoes, we were carrying on our usual colegiala speak, updating each other on what's been happening in each other's lives. Snippets:

T: So, wedding plans????

A: Nope. We're fine the way we are.

T: His parents still in town?

A: Returned na to Guam.

T: hmmm...

(passed Sakura resto)

T: I used to meet up with M here when he feels like eating Japanese.

A: Uuuy, memories

T: Yeah, how long has it been since he passed on? 3 years?

A: I don't know Tons, he was your friend.

T: (silent)

T: I kinda stopped going to Mass

A: You of all people. Hard to believe.

T: Yeah, really.

A: What changed?

T: I think its because things don't change. So, I stopped going. Things remain the way they are anyway, whether I go or not, I pray or not.

A: You're becoming like me.

T: scary

(inside Jose)

T: Finally!! Shoes that fit well!

A: Walanghiya ka, this is not within my budget!!!!

T: Buy it na.

A: Syet. Ok. I hate you.

(inside Alberto's)

A: So, have you been flying to Cebu?

T: No

A: Accounts resolved?

T: No

A: What about your "friend"?

T: Things are not the same na, I told you, diba?

A: Is he marrying her?

T: Ambot.

A: Jerk.

(inside Kaya)

A: You order

T: What do you like?

A: Whatever you want.

T: Japchae?

A: Whatever

T: Bulgogi?

A: Fine

T: (looks around for the waiter)

A: Will smoke lang ha.

T: Whatever (smile)

And then after dinner, we went home. Its so nice spending time with A, she's the one that keeps me grounded and she makes me laugh in a weird funny way that only the two of us can understand.

Touch My Hand

This song by David Archuleta has been on top of my Hit Songs for 2009. Song is sweet and speaks of first love and it helps that David Archuleta seems like the typical boy-next-door type.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq2TvrNe_6Q

I have been trying to post the video itself here on the blog but I'm having problems uploading :-( hope this YouTube link will stay.

January 01, 2010

I'd like to start off by admitting that I have turned into a Facebook GAMES addict, note the emphasis on the word GAMES. Facebook has become such an indispensable "tool" that people cannot end the day without advising their 600 friends or so about their state-of-being at any given time. "Off to Greenbelt 5 for some serious window shopping" or "Hubby and I are stuck at the SLEX for 2 hours but are having the time of our lives"... WTF??!!! Do I really need to know that?!

Anyway, as I have turned into a Facebook GAMES addict, the urge to write in my spare time has been replaced by checking up on my stoves at Cafe World, what needs to get harvested in Farmtown and Farmville and how many $$$$s I have amassed at Mob Wars. Its terrible really. A number of "friends" in my FB friends list are actually my Farmtown/Farmville/Cafe World Neighbors, the desire to rack up the points is that serious. :-)

So, 2010 is upon us and with it, the usual hopes for a better year. A significant number of events happened in the second half of 2009 which marked the year as one of the most trying in Philippine History. After a year long battle with colon cancer, former President Corazon Aquino finally succumbed to the illness last August. Shortly after her death, clamor for her only son, Noynoy, to run for President, grew. In September - October, typhoon Ondoy and Pepeng submerged a large part of Metro Manila and the Northern Luzon provinces, notably in the Cordillera region, under water. Fatalities were high and damage to crops ran in the multi millions. Days following the typhoon, any sign of gray skies made denizens of the metropolis nervous and carrying umbrellas was de riguer.

With the national elections a few months away, the race to ensure winnability commenced. In Metro Manila, the presidentiables have started releasing their ad campaigns on TV while unbeknownst to the rest of the Philippine populace, a tragedy was about to happen in Muslim Mindanao. One fine November day, a group of journalists accompanied the wife of a governor-candidate in Maguindanao together with her women friends and women relatives to the local Comelec office. Their convoy was stopped and on the spot,were all brutally murdered, according to news reports, by parties from the ruling party. International Media went up in arms as fellow journalists were found decapitated in the crime scene.

The latest tragedy to hit the news is the collision between an inter-island ferry and a fishing boat on Christmas Eve.

On a personal note, Anton turned 2 years and 4 months and is at his most terrible 2 stage. :-( He can be so tiring to take care of but he can also be extremely cute and lovable. Patience patience patience. I've also been sending out my CV and was able to secure a second panel interview with a Multi-lateral organization which I really really hope will call me to say that they're hiring me for the job.

Finally, the emotional intensity I have for TB has truly waned and I'm so glad it has finally happened. We're still friends and I'm glad that he stuck with me all throughout my hang-ups.

So, this has been what's going on with me lately. As with the advent of a new year, I hope this year will bring more pleasant tidings to each and everyone of us, personally and professionaly.

FQ and the Distance

The countdown is starting. I no longer have the energy to keep up. We don't have new memories nor do we have things new to share, or rather, would want to share. On FQs part, he doesn't want to make time. On my part, I'm starting to want to care less and less.

Its the distance and the effort to keep up the energy that is starting to wind down, but a large part also due to the prodigal girlfriend.

Gone for the Weekend

For a change of pace and scenery, I brought Anton to a villa for the weekend in Rosario, Batangas owned by my brother's friend's family. It's a huge farmland where the hired hands are busy harvesting papaya, mangoes and kalamansi. Only recently that the family decided to convert a portion of the vast land into a resort for additional income.
My brother encouraged me to try out the farm's spa facilities and I was glad that I did. The therapist was a local, who's husband was the barangay captain and she came to the resort using the town's service owner-type jeep, hehe. Anyway, Manang had magical hands. She kneaded my bunched-up muscles until they loosened up. The oil she used on me did not leave any greasy feeling and it smelled really nice.
Anton rode a pony for the first time and kept calling the animal " 'orse. He can't pronounce 'pony'. Haha! The night sky was so clear and for the first time in a long long time, I saw fireflies flitting from tree to tree.

One Day in Your Life - RIP Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson was 50??? Why not? I'm already 41. His tragic death somehow told me that hey, it's about time to grow up. I just never associated him with age..you know. To me, he's still a kid...like I am. That's how I sometimes think of myself.

I have never been a die-hard Michael Jackson fan but I do enjoy his songs. The Thriller Album, Bad, Off the Wall, HIStory...songs from these albums accompanied me as I grew up from a little girl to a young woman trying to find her place under the sun, marking milestones with a Michael Jackson hit.

I have several songs that I prefer above all MJ's hits, and these are the ballads he sang during his teenage years, the time when he was the adorable black boy I would see on TV. "Ben" is one. This is the other one.

The world lost a great artist but his music will live on in the hearts of the millions of people he had touched, like me, through his music.


One Day in Your Life- Michael Jackson - Celebrity bloopers here

Birthday Wish

When I went to bed last night as my birthday ticked to a close, I asked the Lord to grant me any of the following:

1) I win the 6/49 Super Lotto Jackpot

2) Boyfriend

If I get one, I won't asked for the other one... ever again.

Sadly, as a line in a movie goes, "its easier to get hit by a terrorist".

What are my chances?

Zilch for both.

That's the real world.

My Home is where my Heart is

It used to be that I dread the weekends.

It used to be that I work until 8pm.

When I was younger, I even go to work on a Saturday or a Sunday.

I allowed myself to get lost in the stress that characterizes my profession.

Not anymore.

Now, I can't wait until the weekend comes.

Now, I itch to leave my workstation by 6pm.

The TV is tuned to one station only.

I only go to one place in the Mall.

We Speak

Anton's packing up a lot of words and such a joy to "talk"to. :-) We speak to him in the vernacular as we don't speak english at home. That solved the potential problem of having the yaya speaking to him in "mis-pronounced" english given her regional roots (ie, melk (milk), tiddy bur (teddy bear), or Mac-dunald (seriously). But then, anton's learning bits and pieces of cebuano-illongo words without my knowing, thanks to my dad and yaya (ie, igot (rope), naog (down), duha (2), maayo (refering to time of day or "tao po", on situations). So my new concern is yaya and anton conversing in a language all their own.

But largely, its tagalog with a smattering of english here and there, which I credit to Playhouse Disney. With tagalog as his principal language, he understands the language spoken everywhere we go, like at SM, the corner store where we buy bread, kids playing in our street, the security guards manning the village gate. :-)

I would stare at Anton while he sleeps. To this day, I still can't describe him, the love just shoots out from every part of my being and its overwhelming. He's turning 2 years old soon. I have to know how to explain the father absence and Time will tell nalang siguro.

Kilala Nyo Po si Memen?

Its been proving difficult lately to spend quiet time for myself just to write. Account Management under the Barclay’s portfolio took a while to get used to given that the judgement call I used to exercise under the HVB portfolio simply doesn’t exist with Barclay’s.

Barclay’s, being a very conservative English bank, looks at their Philippine distressed debt investment with eagle eyes and they are not simply contented with just being paid. Barclay’s is fiercely protective of its reputation and all transactions / documentation that comes out of my desk should have the blessings of its Barcap legal team despite us engaging our own external counsel to help in the legal side of things, ie documentation / litigation. In a good way however, we learn a lot from Barcap regarding Risk Management. They see angles in transactions which we never thought existed and I’m impressed with the thoroughness of their queries and the speed with which they revert.

It took a bit of time to get used to the working set-up but eventually, I got the hang of it. I’m now able to pace myself and start to relax and lean back on my good old swivel chair. Hehe!

So, on to more interesting stories. I went to visit Batanes again for the second time last March 20-23. It was a photo safari trip of Mandy Navasero which B asked me to come join her as she is into photography. I gladly said yes as I wanted to see Batanes again and at the same time, it was an opportunity for me to say Hi to Memen.

Memen was our guide in Sabtang Island the first time I visited in 2005. At the time, he was also one of the local councilors representing Batanes. Like the typical Ivatan, his smile is wide and warm and his skin is brown from too much sun and wind exposure. We became fast friends and when my group had to return to Batan island soon after the tour was done (waves get pretty rough towards late afternoon), we exchanged cell numbers. Memen would call me regularly from then on, asking me when I’d go back to Batanes. He went to Manila in 2006 to visit his sister and I took the time to bring him to Tagaytay and had him meet my parents.

Memen was obviously looking for more than a friendly relationship with me, but unfortunately, I did not reciprocate his feelings. 2006 was the time TB was already a part of my life and TB was the one I wanted. And in struggling with my TB brouhaha, long story short, it ended up with Anton getting conceived (this blog is almost 80% story of that brouhaha).

While I was pregnant with Anton, I received a call from Memen saying that he again was in Manila and promptly, I invited him for dinner. I wanted him to see me pregnant and to see his reaction. Unfortunately, that never happened. Memen knew how to get to the Karport Building and I had a feeling that in his intention to surprise me, saw me going about and heavy with child. Memen never called me back, never texted and when last year,I tried to call him to tell him I was planning to visit Batanes again, the number he gave me was no longer in use.

So, March 20, 2009. Batanes is a place where everyone knows everyone and I asked our guide if he knew Memen and as expected, said yes. I asked him if its ok to please tell Memen that Tonette is in town. Guide said he will relay the message to Sabtang.


I was looking forward to our trip to Sabtang Island and when the falowa boat docked at the pier, I was hoping that he got my message and was at the Pier to welcome me…but no Memen in sight. When B and the rest of the group started clicking their cameras at the scenery, I was quietly looking for an opportunity to chat with a local and ask where Memen was. I chanced upon one friendly looking chap who volunteered that Memen was his classmate in High School, that Memen got married last Sept 2008 and that he already has a baby. He further volunteered that Memen was in Manila recently to look for a job and has even considered working abroad. He offered to bring me to Memen’s house as it is likely that he is home. I couldn’t find B anywhere but saw D and told her I’ll just go visit a friend in the village.

So there I was in front of Memen’s house and the high school friend did all the yelling in the local dialect. Finally, a pretty girl with round eyes opened the door carrying a baby girl with equally round eyes. “Memen is not around”, she said in Ivatan, “but he’ll be back soon.” I told the girl who I was, how I came to know Memen and how pretty she is and how lovely their baby girl is. She was young and shy with strangers and since I had nothing else left to say, bid her goodbye while gently caressing the baby’s foot. Going back to the photo safari group, I was feeling quite disappointed. I decided to leave him a letter and left it at the department of fisheries building, the only building in Sabtang that was open on a Saturday.

As was the routine, we toured the whole Sabtang Island, with the last stop being the Sabtang lighthouse. When we returned to the Pier to return to Batan Island, still no Memen around. Turned out he was in Ivuhus, fishing. I knew then that this was my last trip to Batanes and that I know that I will not get to talk to Memen again. I didn’t write down my cell number in the little message that I left for him. In the seair flight back to Manila 2 days after, I grew very sad and cried a little.

And so, life goes on in Manila. I’ll never know if he ever got to receive and read my letter. The photos of the photo safari group has since been posted and commented on in Multiply, how breathtaking the views, how refreshing the sight, how tranquil the place looks. I agree with all of that, but to me, something else is already lacking in the picture. Memen's not in any of them.

A KiKay 2009

I don't know what got into me. Early into the new year, sometime during the weekend, I went to SM Sucat for the sole reason to buy toiletries and it ended up being a major shopping expedition. I guess I decided its time to buy new clothes after seeing all the new styles that were on sale after the Holiday rush, and right there and then, decided to take advantage of the discount, notwithstanding the small percentage off the SRP.

Of course, you can't go shopping for new clothes without shopping for new shoes. So the following weekend, I shopped for new shoes naman. And not just the typical black or brown walking clogs or flats. Apart from new office shoes, I bought kikay clogs and step-ins. Really girlie and all, hehe!

And then, since I was into new clothes and new shoes, i also decided to get new underwear! So, back to the Department store I go and bought several new bikinis and semi-full panties and a couple of brassiers. Hehe! So that completed the new wardrobe for 2009.

But then, it didn't end there. My Philamlife agent was also into selling Mary Kay products and after a little bit of prodding, got me to buy the TimeWise Moisturizing and Dermabrasion Line for my skincare regimen. And you know what? I LOVE THE PRODUCTS!!! It suits my skin, giving it a healthy, youthful glow. :-)

So there, after all of the belt tightening that I did during the Christmas holidays by giving practical gifts and simple tokens, I decided to let go and splurged on myself for a change last January 2009. Haha!

But of course, after this shopping spree, I'm not going to buy anything for myself again until next year. With the pay-cut that we had to agree to and given the economic downturn, its not the time to spend money on things that is not a priority.

So, here's to maximizing the use of my new shoes, clothes, undies and moisturizing products for a Kikay 2009.

Adieu 2008

As I write this, the intermittent sound of exploding labintadors predominate the twilight, setting the stage for the welcome celebration of the New Year that is to come. Its Anton’s first New Year’s watch and his Daddy Lo is busy setting up the sparklers (read: fountain and roman candles) in front of the clubhouse for him and the neighborhood kids to watch at 6:30pm.

Aaahh, what a year 2008 has been. The first semester was highlighted by the spiraling of oil prices which correspondingly spiked prices of goods. The months then following June 2008 saw yet another local maritime disaster with the sinking of a Sulpicio-owned passenger ferry. Offshore, in the 3rd quarter, we incredulously watched in disbelief as America’s financial system, due to risky subprime mortgages, started buckling down on both knees, in the brink of collapse, with the demise of several financial giants and the government bailout of AIG, bringing with it Europe and parts of Asia. Stock traders worldwide is in unison that the on-going financial crises is worse that the Great Depression of the 30’s. Though the Philippines has been, for the most part, spared by the financial storm, local business watchers predict that the country will feel the full impact of the global economic downturn in 2009. A significant number of our OFWs are already being sent back home and a number of workers in the production line have already been laid off (read: further escalation in local unemployment rate). Those who have jobs should thank their lucky stars they still have a job to look forward to in a sagging domestic economy in 2009. That includes me.

2008 also marks a milestone in American politics with Barack Obama elected as the country’s first Black president and George W. Bush, being the first American president to be thrown a shoe at by an Iraqi journalist during a farewell speech. I am looking forward to the Obama presidency in 2009 and the CHANGE that he promised to give America.

Personally, apart from the brouhaha that happened this month at work, my life essentially remained in status quo. TB continues to be my special friend, my Buddy of a Lifetime (BoaL). I continue to be jealous of his girlfriend regardless of whatever issues he says he has with her. Right now, they are in some pleasure road trip where they are sharing their own brand of fireworks, eeew, yuk!!!. :-(

I have a feeling however, that I will finally meet The One this coming year as my mind is starting to see into the face of an imaginary someone, something that I had difficulty visualizing before. :-)

And so, as the clock ticks an hour closer to midnight, we slowly bid adieu to the events that shaped 2008 and look forward with cautious optimism at 2009.

What Now?

After 3 years, my company has ceased to operate and we, the managers of the asset, have been offered to "cross-over" to an Aussie based servicing company. All of these taking place 2 weeks before christmas. The manner with which the "notice" was given us was quite inadequate, to put it mildly. We felt betrayed. Given the nature of our current employment, we all knew the company was not made for the long haul. But then, we were expecting a 6 month notice / transition period, not 72 hours ... with a deadline of 24 hours to sign off on the offer sheet of the Aussie firm, and definitely, not 24 hours before our Christmas party (!!!!).

I could go on and on and ask the Universe why things happen the way they do, and if I am to be selfish, why it targets me specifically. Should I hold myself back from giving too much? Expecting teeney weeney bit much?

"Always keep your eyes and your heart open as Nothing happens by chance", said our recollection master. "Never be afraid to face the unknown, accept the challenge."

I do agree with the good Bosconian priest naman eh, but, hello, tao lang po. Prone to panic attacks, withdrawal symptoms, bawling sessions and back-biting.

It has been a week since the "notice" was relayed. After several one-on-one discussions with the Aussie firm's director and fine-tuning of the new employment offer from the Land of Oz, everyone in my team crossed-over. In the end, we all needed the steady income stream, we all have families to support, we all want to be productive and we all want to welcome the new year still gainfully employed.

An Update

I haven't been posting as much as I would have wanted cuz I got pretty addicted to Facebook, the newest networking site. I'm sure everyone who uses the internet is already familiar with Facebook thus explanations are unncessary. So, what have I been doing apart from Mommy duties and Facebook?

Well, WORK is one. I managed to close several deals over the past several months, contributing to the company's coffers, and has made me a happy camper for some time. It didn't come with ease and finesse but with a lot of gut-wrenching samaan ng loob with my bosses, irate calls from the other party, but all's well ends well. :-) And of course, there are the usual accounts that still refuse to budge which is what I have to focus on for next year. In the meantime, I just need to ensure that the collections from the settlements I've made so far all comes in by year end. Hopefully, no year end past due surprises.

I went back to playing Badminton and have been trying to keep to my regular playing schedule of Mondays and Wednesdays, from 7-9pm. I managed to lose 10lbs of the pregnancy weight but still need to lose 10 lbs more and its proving to be difficult. My weight dances over and around Manny Pacquiao's feather weight and I need to keep it below that number. :-) Ay, how difficult especially with the coming Holidays and lunch-outs that are becoming quite frequent.

I've made plans to go to Batanes again come February 2009 and I'm pretty excited about it. :-) This time, I am joining Mandy Navasero's Photo Safari Group together with B., a Cebu-based acquaintance ( hopefully become a good friend) and her friends. I'm not really deep into photography, considering the logistics, but I do enjoy taking pictures from my derelict Olympus Camera and visiting Batanes for no other reason but just to enjoy the place again, is something that I couldn't pass up. :-)

Lastly, last night, I rejoiced with a couple who finally was able to experience parenthood for the first time. They became foster parents to a baby girl after trying unsuccessfuly to conceive a child of their own. I don't consider this couple as good friends yet, but I hope they would turn out to be. I held the pretty baby in my arms and I realize that you don't have to actually give birth to a baby to feel the connection. I told J that she conceived and borned baby C in her heart and a mother's heart knows no boundaries, limits, conditions. The way J was tenderly holding the baby brought a smile to my heart. They are temporarily based here in Manila because the guy, K, is training to be a pilot for a major domestic airline though they go home every so often to their southern home as that is where the clan is.

Tonight is the first showing of Twilight, the Stephanie Meyer series that has captured the world by storm and making every female wishing they had their own Edward Cullen. :-) B. and I reserved seats via Ayala's sureseats.

TB? Wala. We're BOALs (Buddies of a Lifetime).

Anton's Baby Blah:

1) Nana (wala na) (said when he throws something on the floor like his diaper, etc, finishes his milk, unplugs the electric fan (!!!), after making poo poo, after saying bye bye)

2) Boa (Bola or Ball and this defines everything that is round, like wheels, christmas ornaments, ring, plates, saucers, etc.)

3) Baybeeee (pictures of babies and children on all sorts of labels, magazines, tv ads)

4) Uuuuuy ( expression for anything)

5) Daddy-wo (his lolo)

6) Mammeee (yours truly)

7) Ba! (baba, when he wants to go down, or to be put on the floor)

8) Yuuun! (pointing everywhere when asked, nasaan si Baby Jesus?, pointing to his small cabinet when asked, asan ang gamit ng baby?)

Iba naman

Pambihira...siguro naman there still is someone else out there that I can ably talk to, relate and share things with, with the same level of maturity, life experience and comprehension...the recipie of a meaningful exchange.They can't all possibly be gone and already taken, for pete's sake! :-(

And since I'm once again posing this question out in the big black void, baka puede din that this person and I would be living within a reasonable driving distance from each other. And AGAIN, they can't all be living on another side of the archipelago! C'mon man, GIMME A BREAK!

Let's pay our respects to the old and usher in the new. I want to make new memories already, not remember old ones.

In Requiem

I read somewhere that Silence is a form of healing. It has found its way and finally taking its rightful place between TB and me.

When previously the word distance meant the land mass between Manila and Cebu, now it also means withholding one’s self emotionally....to protect against further damage. Gone are the days when TB and I would share stories everyday, send kilometric text messages and pictures through MMS, burn the phonelines for more than an hour, piling the other with topic after topic. All of these were what we used to be.

The text messages are sparse now (almost non-existent during regular and long weekends) and I only text back when prompted. Sometimes, I can't help associating the texting to how you would treat a dog, how you just need to pat it once in a while, enough to recognize you so that it won't bark, and to keep it happy. Our middle ground is that I will just take TB's lead in the management of our friendship. I no longer ask personal questions, whereabouts, weekend gimmick. Whatever for? Some of the answers may not be to my liking and get me once again into a tailspin of hurt.

In the 3 years that we were “together”, no one has gotten close to me the way TB did. But now, the feeling of having a special friend is slowly disappearing, no longer fueled by the need to bond, as gauged by his words, “will text when I can”, which obviously, as the months pass with spending more and more time re-connecting (literaly and figuratively) with his girlfriend, is no longer doable. He was recently in Manila for a brief stay before going off to an Ilocos Road trip and never bothered to text “Hi”. Little things that I thought defined our closeness is apparently no longer of consequence now. I didn't invite him to Anton's birthday lunch and kiddie party and its ironic that only a year ago, he flew to Manila the day after Anton was born to see him.

Its true. People come into your life with various reasons and after the purpose has been served, they move on.

I continue to miss TB with the intensity felt by someone who shared so much of herself, but as with anyone who has gone through the same thing, the only avenue I know to manage such emotion is to redirect it towards work and my son. It also helps to think of him as already being married to his girlfriend (bakit, hindi pa ba??). Married men are definitely off-limits (unless one is an unhappy wife in need of some ego-boosting or girls looking out for a good time).

A well-meaning friend said that I should not build an emotional wall around myself and not to use Anton as an excuse.

Moving forward in this regard is still quite sluggish, but hey, give me time. I’m neither here nor there.

And yes, as this piece is entitled "In Requiem", when the last day comes, I don't see myself flying down south to pay my last respects. I'm sure he'll understand.

"Go tell the Spartans, strangers passing by

that here obedient to their laws, we lie."

-warrior epitaph at Thermopylae

Hooked on Facebook and then some...

The newest networking site that’s sweeping the Globe is FACEBOOK and needless to say, I am an instant Fan. A highly interactive site, FACEBOOK has mega tons of applications allowing users to send each other Starbucks, Chanel / Hermes gift items, cigarettes, booze, growing gifts, hatching eggs, play all sorts of games, from the tweetum ones like Word Twist to the brazen ones like Mob Wars. I know someone who is heavy into playing this game that he would get vicious verbal attacks from Facebook users in other countries. I myself got into car racing (Petrol Head) and have also become a blood thirsty Vampire (Vampire Temptress).

You can also view forwarded YouTube picks, birthday gifts, virtually travel just about anywhere (I’ve been to the top of Mt. Everest) and just so much more. Last week, I was browsing through its applications tab and came across one application where you get to tell a friend that you want to FcuK him/her or show how much you are into him/her. Very BOLD this Facebook.

Anyway, apart from all of these, it was just great being able to reconnect with my old college friends again AND guess what? Yup, got reconnected with my old college BF, JT. He’s married now with kids. He admitted feeling a millisecond of hesitance before accepting my invite because he felt awkward. “Ah duh”, I emailed back. What was awkward for me was when his mom asked me to attend the birthday party of his older brother who still wasn’t married. Being the old JT that I know, his idea of a reunion is for everyone to watch the next UAAP game live at the Araneta.

Outside of Facebook, life goes on quietly. Anton smiles a lot now, claps his hands and makes all sorts of baby babble that makes him so adorable. TB, on the other hand, has finally realized that being friends is doing me more harm than good ( I can’t stop being sarcastic with him and rude and insensitive and mean), so he gave up…angrily if I may suspect. He can’t give me what I need and he can’t force me to give him what he wants. Its better this way. No more hurtful words from my end.

I just thought of something very morbid which is, if TB dies, do I go to Cebu and pay my last respects? I didn’t attend M’s wake when he passed away but that was an entirely different case. Thinking along this line, I don’t think I will go when that time comes. Doesn’t make sense to go see somebody when they’re already gone. I’ll just go to Tagaytay , trace our DelaSalle museum trip all they way to Nurture Spa and grieve for him there coz Tagaytay is where our friendship started…. all prior to the return of his prodigal girlfriend.

Its sad. He really means a lot me.

Anyway, Anton’s birthday is coming up soon. My little guy is turning a year old. A milestone in both our lives that I look forward to.

A Company with a Heart

A lot has already been said, commented on and written about regarding the sinking of the MV Princess of the Stars owned by Sulpicio Lines.

I would like to include a little tidbit of my own regarding this tragedy.

Negros Navigation (Nenaco), a shipping line owned (indirectly) by Metro Pacific Corp belongs to a portfolio of accounts that I am currently handling. I was recently engaged in an animated conversation with Nenaco’s CFO regarding this recent maritime mishap and he had this to say:

At the time Signal Number 1 was hoisted over Metro Manila, Nenaco (or NN as fondly called by its crew and passengers) was also getting ready to set sail for Iloilo the same day that the Princess of the Stars was to sail for Cebu. With the growing inclement weather however, NN’s Management, together with the ship captain, decided not to push through with the trip as they didn’t want to take the risk of running into further foul weather and the attendant risks it brings once the ship is out at sea.

This decision showed Nenaco’s concern for its passengers’ safety. Once the weather cleared and the sea again safe for travel, Nenaco proceeded to sail for Iloilo, bringing its passenger safely to their destination. As everyone knows, Sulpicio Lines ended with a different fate.

If Nenaco was able to make this simple decision without relying on PAGASA for an official weather forecast or the COASTGUARD for clearance, why couldn’t Sulpicio?

It felt good being the Account Officer of a shipping company whose main concern is the welfare of its passengers. After all, their duty is to their loyal riding public. It says a lot of the company’s values and the priority of its shareholders, as well.

RESET

I'm on Reset Mode....Restart...In computer lingo, its Control Alt Delete. That kind of thing. How do I feel? Still sad, still hurt, but the crying has stopped.

My bestfriend meant well when, in her no-nonsense style, said, "I DID TELL YOU A LONG TIME AGO, AND REPEATEDLY IF I MAY ADD, THAT WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INTO WITH THAT GUY SPELLED DISASTER. You didn't want to listen, Tons," and this amidst getting my share of her second-hand smoke.

I wish I was one of those girls who, after having a good day at the salon or a good day of shopping, would bounce right back after a relationship disaster. TB has gone on and having a good time planning long drives to wherever and going to safaris and going wherever else in this country, or out of the country, to make up for lost time, and happily screwing his gf in the process. Hmm, I think I just sounded bitter back there.

Whatever, I have the right to feel what I feel. Picking up my broken pieces is my project for the remaining months of 2008. Never did I thought I was going to have a round 2 of a Rojun style getting over episode 4 years after it happened, yet here I am again. I do acknowledge that this mess is my fault and a lesson well learned.

Anyway, new good things should come soon now that I'm clearing up the space previously occupied by my stupidity. Will look forward to that.