June 28, 2008
ALMIGHTY GOD
RE : HELP URGENTLY REQUESTED
Dear God:
I would like to start off this letter by admitting that my spirituality is at an all time low. Prayers have not passed my lips for some time and I can no longer remember when last I sincerely called out to you for strength and guidance. With close to 90% of my productive time devoted to CGAM, I thought it best to write you a business letter instead, where I am most comfortable.
I am suffering from a severe case of unrequited attachment over TB which has led to my emotional downspin. I’ve fallen so hard and getting out of this pain-infested quagmire I’ve gotten myself into has been proving much too long and much too difficult to bear. I fully acknowledge that I am at fault. There are days that I regret having gone to that fateful Malapascua dive trip of November 2005 where I abandoned my better judgment and plunged headlong into an unusual relationship that did more emotional harm to me than good. Back then, he has already given me full disclosure of the then present state of his relationship with his girlfriend but I ignored the waving red flags and went ahead with the heady feeling of the moment. As I say this, be advised that I have not ceased to cry since March 2006 when I realized how strong my feelings were for him.
His girlfriend is back home and they are trying to work things out between them. Forcing myself to say each day that I’m going to be ok, that this too again shall pass, only results in countless sobbing in the bathroom or in the car. I am no longer in control of myself and I beg your assistance to please please please please take this pain away from me. Hindi ko na talaga kaya on my own. I wake up sad and weepy, I go to sleep sad and weepy. I have very little appetite. I’ve never lifted a voice to you, as I’m pretty sure you know, because I feel so alone in carrying this pain, and that you can never understand.
I recognize that you are more concerned with the recent tragedies that has struck my country and other parts of the world, as well as having to deal with the onslaught of other people’s prayers, which I’m sure are much more important than mine. But I beg that you just give me 10 seconds of your most precious attention to unload from me this pathetic burden so I can sincerely find myself truly happy again.
ALMIGHTY GOD
RE : HELP URGENTLY REQUESTED
Dear God:
I would like to start off this letter by admitting that my spirituality is at an all time low. Prayers have not passed my lips for some time and I can no longer remember when last I sincerely called out to you for strength and guidance. With close to 90% of my productive time devoted to CGAM, I thought it best to write you a business letter instead, where I am most comfortable.
I am suffering from a severe case of unrequited attachment over TB which has led to my emotional downspin. I’ve fallen so hard and getting out of this pain-infested quagmire I’ve gotten myself into has been proving much too long and much too difficult to bear. I fully acknowledge that I am at fault. There are days that I regret having gone to that fateful Malapascua dive trip of November 2005 where I abandoned my better judgment and plunged headlong into an unusual relationship that did more emotional harm to me than good. Back then, he has already given me full disclosure of the then present state of his relationship with his girlfriend but I ignored the waving red flags and went ahead with the heady feeling of the moment. As I say this, be advised that I have not ceased to cry since March 2006 when I realized how strong my feelings were for him.
His girlfriend is back home and they are trying to work things out between them. Forcing myself to say each day that I’m going to be ok, that this too again shall pass, only results in countless sobbing in the bathroom or in the car. I am no longer in control of myself and I beg your assistance to please please please please take this pain away from me. Hindi ko na talaga kaya on my own. I wake up sad and weepy, I go to sleep sad and weepy. I have very little appetite. I’ve never lifted a voice to you, as I’m pretty sure you know, because I feel so alone in carrying this pain, and that you can never understand.
I recognize that you are more concerned with the recent tragedies that has struck my country and other parts of the world, as well as having to deal with the onslaught of other people’s prayers, which I’m sure are much more important than mine. But I beg that you just give me 10 seconds of your most precious attention to unload from me this pathetic burden so I can sincerely find myself truly happy again.
It is in this regard that I humbly request that the following be granted to me without further delay:
1) remove this painful emotional mess I got myself into
2) make TB realize that he made a big mistake in befriending me
3) a much heavier workload
4) to be more discerning
5) to continue to be financially secure to ably 1) bring up Anton with the best that I can give him and, 2) to ably take care of the financial concerns of my family which my brother and I are presently carrying
6) to be gainfully employed until such time Anton finishes college.
I promise that I will never again ask for a partner, or to be in a relationship, in whatever form or manner, with a man. Clearly, I am not capable of sustaining one. I just ask that you give me the strength to keep me focused on the more important things, such as being a good mother and provider for Anton.
Thank you for all the blessings you have given me. They are numerous and I have been remiss in not thanking you enough. Compared to others, I am still lucky for enjoying a relatively easy life without the everyday economic burdens that currently befalls the least of the country’s citizens.
I anticipate your prompt attention to my request. For your better appreciation of my present situation, I have enclosed copies of email exchanges that I’ve had with TB over the years for your review.
Sincerely,
Tonette Penaflor
Lost soul
Cc: Mother Mary, St. Therese of the Child Jesus, Sto. Nino, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Jude, Guardian Angel, all the poor departed souls in Purgatory.
I anticipate your prompt attention to my request. For your better appreciation of my present situation, I have enclosed copies of email exchanges that I’ve had with TB over the years for your review.
Sincerely,
Tonette Penaflor
Lost soul
Cc: Mother Mary, St. Therese of the Child Jesus, Sto. Nino, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Jude, Guardian Angel, all the poor departed souls in Purgatory.