And here he is…all soft and innocent, finding himself thrusted into his mother’s crazy and imperfect world, prepared to survive, come what may.
I found out that the aches and pains of a growing belly is nothing compared to finally being face to face with your newborn child, defenseless and demanding of your constant emotional assurance and nutritional sustenance. His coming into my life, for one thing, has definitely changed my sleeping habits. I’ve kissed the 9am waking hour goodbye during the weekend …and weekday for that matter, and I am at his beck and call 24/7. I’m awake when he’s awake and that’s every 1.5 hour to 2 hours each day and night. The slightest squeak of the crib sends me to a state of alertness from 0 to 10. Anton has a yaya to help me watch over him though I still can't help looking over my shoulder to see what he's up to.
I cried following the day we brought him home from the hospital. I got so exhausted trying to put him to sleep that night without the infant formula and only trickles of milk were coming out from my breasts. He would wake up every 30 minutes to feed and he’d cling to the nipple for dear life. Good God, and that’s an understatement. He also had problems latching onto my left breast as the nipple is not protruded enough, thus overusing my right breast to the point of it getting tremendously sore. This has greatly reduced my capacity to catch up on his demand for milk. Enter infant formula (Similac Advance) which I now rely on during periods when it’s too painful to breastfeed him.
Slowly as the days passed, I got over the initial qualms and can now hold him every which way, changing his soiled disposable diapers, and not panicking at the sound of his lusty cry. Now, I let him cry his lungs out as I slowly and meticulously change him and prepare his bottle (on a given hour that I don’t breastfeed him), with matching cooing sounds.
We’re learning from each other and I’m so glad that Anton is very forgiving (he has no choice, hehe). The next thing to look forward to is a 3 hour non-stop sleep, yep, one step at a time.
