It has been 2 weeks since I brought Anton home from Medical City. After the initial diaper changing fiascos (getting a fresh dose of poo or a fountain of wiwi in the middle of a diaper change) and conceding that I cannot breastfeed him exclusively, the household since then, has slowly adjusted to the presence of the newest member of the family and has finally settled into a daily routine.
Yaya Edith looks after Anton during the day and I alternate with her starting at about 10am, when she needs to wash or iron his clothes and sterilize his bottles. She stays with me until about midnight and I solely take over from there until about 4am. My mom takes over until about 6:30am when Yaya comes up to relieve her.
I would stare tiredly at my sleeping son at 2AM after one of our feeding, burping and rock-me-to-sleep sessions and still can’t believe that he’s really here. Disturbing as it may sound, I still can’t believe I got pregnant. Honestly. I already mentioned before that I never thought it would happen considering the circumstance occured only once. My friend Jean put it most eloquently when she said that Anton came at the right time. If he had come earlier, I might have been in a position where I’d be struggling to support him financially. Any later, and it would already be too risky to become pregnant. It was his time to come to me when he was conceived, regardless of who the father might have been.
Ah, Anton’s father. He is but a dim memory. He accompanied me once to the Ultrasound Center in Alabang to confirm my pregnancy (ultrasound age showed I was 6 weeks already on the way at the time) and he knows I’d be due in August. Like some bad dream, he washed his hands off the “inconvenience” early on and I never attempted to contact him again.
Anton is mostly me, I would like to think. He has my blood type (A+), and he has my family’s features. I have a baby picture where I made a facial expression which I see Anton do now. Will be sure to post both pictures here soon. My parents are crazy over him, and my brother, hmmm, well, he still hasn’t carried Anton in his arms though he checks up on him once in a while. I think guys who are at the peak of their bachelorhood are not too crazy about babies.
In between sleeping and feeding, he is in this quiet state of alertness that I enjoy observing. Anton likes his little feet and hands caressed and he rewards me with a hint of a smile and a sigh. He throws up his legs and his arms in the air when he gets surprised by a car door being slammed or with the thudding noise of something heavy thrown in the waste basket. He can however, sleep through all the ruckus that the carpenters make because he’s used to hearing these while in the womb.
Monday late afternoon, I went to the salon for some time for myself and in the middle of my manicure/pedicure, my thoughts kept going to the baby I left in the house and couldn’t resist calling Yaya Edith to ask how he is. I felt a pang of guilt by being away for a few hours and upon getting home, went directly to his crib.
August seems to be a significant month for me. A year ago, I was recovering from Dengue fever. The year before that, I was adjusting to a new job with CGAM. Next year, apart from Anton celebrating his one year, who knows? My life is no longer the same and I don’t even know where its going to lead me hereon. The only clear thing in my head is that I can no longer imagine life without my baby and I will make sure I will be around to support his needs (materially and emotionally), the best way I can.
Yaya Edith looks after Anton during the day and I alternate with her starting at about 10am, when she needs to wash or iron his clothes and sterilize his bottles. She stays with me until about midnight and I solely take over from there until about 4am. My mom takes over until about 6:30am when Yaya comes up to relieve her.
I would stare tiredly at my sleeping son at 2AM after one of our feeding, burping and rock-me-to-sleep sessions and still can’t believe that he’s really here. Disturbing as it may sound, I still can’t believe I got pregnant. Honestly. I already mentioned before that I never thought it would happen considering the circumstance occured only once. My friend Jean put it most eloquently when she said that Anton came at the right time. If he had come earlier, I might have been in a position where I’d be struggling to support him financially. Any later, and it would already be too risky to become pregnant. It was his time to come to me when he was conceived, regardless of who the father might have been.
Ah, Anton’s father. He is but a dim memory. He accompanied me once to the Ultrasound Center in Alabang to confirm my pregnancy (ultrasound age showed I was 6 weeks already on the way at the time) and he knows I’d be due in August. Like some bad dream, he washed his hands off the “inconvenience” early on and I never attempted to contact him again.
Anton is mostly me, I would like to think. He has my blood type (A+), and he has my family’s features. I have a baby picture where I made a facial expression which I see Anton do now. Will be sure to post both pictures here soon. My parents are crazy over him, and my brother, hmmm, well, he still hasn’t carried Anton in his arms though he checks up on him once in a while. I think guys who are at the peak of their bachelorhood are not too crazy about babies.
In between sleeping and feeding, he is in this quiet state of alertness that I enjoy observing. Anton likes his little feet and hands caressed and he rewards me with a hint of a smile and a sigh. He throws up his legs and his arms in the air when he gets surprised by a car door being slammed or with the thudding noise of something heavy thrown in the waste basket. He can however, sleep through all the ruckus that the carpenters make because he’s used to hearing these while in the womb.
Monday late afternoon, I went to the salon for some time for myself and in the middle of my manicure/pedicure, my thoughts kept going to the baby I left in the house and couldn’t resist calling Yaya Edith to ask how he is. I felt a pang of guilt by being away for a few hours and upon getting home, went directly to his crib.
August seems to be a significant month for me. A year ago, I was recovering from Dengue fever. The year before that, I was adjusting to a new job with CGAM. Next year, apart from Anton celebrating his one year, who knows? My life is no longer the same and I don’t even know where its going to lead me hereon. The only clear thing in my head is that I can no longer imagine life without my baby and I will make sure I will be around to support his needs (materially and emotionally), the best way I can.