How do you define a relationship that is viewed as friendship but enjoys the perks of 'a couple'? Modern? Convenient? Practical? Since the set-up is Undefined, does it mean that going out with other people is allowable? What if one starts getting too attached and want to elevate the relationship to an exclusive one but the other wants to maintain the status quo? I guess depending on where the level of your feelings are, bailing out from the Undefined situation is a MUST if you want to keep your heart whole and the signs along the way indicate that the present set-up ain't gonna change. But then, how long should the waiting period be?
I stayed at Fritz's house in BF until way past midnight last night. He's seriously considering filing for a marriage annulment next year. (Brief family geneology: Fritz is my 30 year old nephew. Obviously, we treat each other like cousins. His 70-something grandmother, lola Natty, and my 64 year old Mum are first cousins. Fritz's 56 year old mum, Ate Fe, is my second cousin. In my family, we keep contact up to the 2nd degree relations). Fritz and Bing are into their 3rd year of marriage with 2 adorable sons and this early in the game, their marriage is already breaking down. It appears that Fritz can no longer tolerate Bing's unfounded insecurities and incessant nagging and he wants out. He and Bing have been living apart for some time already with the boys staying with Bing and he getting them every Sunday. I asked him if Bing was already insecure when they were still dating and he said yes, but has learned to accept it early on. However, it came to a point that he has ran out of ways to pacify Bing's insecurities and they are always fighting.
"Marrying her still wasn't enough," lamented Fritz in resignation. "Where's Bing in all of this now?" I asked. "She wants to get back together for the kids' sake but I don't want to because it won't change anything," he says. I asked Fritz if he still has some love left for Bing and he didn't answer. I took that as a No.
Fritz has a 'special friend' now but maintains that his priority is his job and his 2 sons. Not that I was advising him otherwise but if he sees no hope between him and Bing, I did encourage him to get the annulment, all areas considered.
Memories of Fritz as a fair-haired, chubby young boy with very red lips played in my head as I kissed him goodbye and headed for home. Always dressed in white sando and his baby briefs, he was a joy to carry around and all the neighborhood kids, especially the girls, all cooed around him. He had a very good upbringing, very polite and considerate to members of his family and with other people. He has his own faults, but who doesn't?
I'm sure Fritz can weather this episode in his life. He's still young with a rising star in the horizon and so much to look forward to. And heck, what are we family for if we don't share the same strength of character...and good looks. Hehe!